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Sunday, February 29th, 2004
2:07 am
I know this is rather random... but today is my birthday. Over the past while so much has happened, a lot of it i forgot and yet i still remember today.

I remember last year.. i didn't offically have a birthday.. i remember.. since i didn't.. my friends threw me one crazy little party. I felt so special.

I didn't even think they'd remember.. but they did...

...they probably didn't think i'd remember them now, but i do.. so much was forgotten but i rememeber -them-

I know we'll see each other again someday.

Nagi-kun seems to think he can help me with that... and.. i trust him.

(huggles)

Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
1:41 pm
The other day i went out.. just to use the 'net, and i end up being approached by this guy.. he said he knew me before all this mess happened. He -is- very familiar..

Most everything he said sounded accurate.. the flowers, the girls, the cats.

We talked for quite a while.. @-@ and he says i'm an assassin. It -would- explain the crazy dreams, but.. anou.. i don't know. Something sounds off about it.

Well, in any case, we'll figure it all out sooner or later. Things are coming back, some quicker then others.. but. yeah.

@_@ So.. erm.. he's staying with me for now. I think we're both actually glad that neither of us really has much of anything. We'll have space!

current mood: confused

(huggles)

Friday, February 13th, 2004
4:14 am - Where has the time gone..?
Well.. it's been almost a week now.. since they let me out of the hospital. I'm still not sure what exactily happened that got me trapped in there in the first place.

When they told me how little they knew, and how long i'd been there under their care, i almost cried. I remember somethings... i think it's what happened, but i'm not sure, it could just be some sort of crazy dream, ne?

Everything seems that way.

I keep seeing things.. people. I don't think even a dellusional mind could come up with people like that.. how could i know them in such great detail had they not existed? Then again.. what if the reason i think i know them so well is they're just figments of my imigination?

*sigh* anyway.. i don't know. Things are all coming back, but slowly... and, honestly, i don't have time to wait around for them.

I have to get everything straightened out in the new place.

The woman who brought me to the hospital was kind enough to let me stay with her for a while, as well as pay for my bills.. but.. i.. i can't just stay there. So, i moved out. The new place is.. not exactily what i'd like to call even 'nice' but.. it's home, and it's mine for now. For that, of course, i owe much a thanks and money to that wonderful woman, and i'll make sure to pay her back.

It shouldn't be that much of a problem, i already got myself a job. *nods* and yeah.. well i dunno... i felt rather clingy towards computers for some reason.

Maybe someday i'll get one of my own rather then just leeching off of the libraries and cybershops.

Anyway, this is my journal! ^.~v

current mood: artistic

(huggles)

Friday, December 12th, 2003
12:56 am
HASH(0x8969804)
Protector


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

(huggles)

Friday, November 28th, 2003
5:11 am
After much contemplation on the matter i have finally decided.. i really need to talk to Yohji-kun.

I do not like this idea of 'forgetting' the events of an evening. I want to know what happened.. i hope he knows.

Seems the mission isn't getting far. All our leads are ending at a brick wall.. *sigh* We'll find something soon, i just know it!

(1 hug | huggles)

Thursday, November 20th, 2003
12:28 am - Well this has been fun...
Honestly, this mission is not a good one. I've been doing some research, a -lot- of it, and all I’ve really found is more and more people who've fallen victim to this drug's affects. Though, absolutely none of them would be of any help to us whatsoever.

I think if we check with their family, friends or co-workers we might be bale to find more. *sigh*

I can just see it now, going over to someone’s loved ones and asking them about any drugs they might have been taking. -_-; yeah, this is going to be a real peach of a job.

I’m trying to narrow down the areas which they’re spreading especially strong, there are a few of them, but it’s hard to tell where it’s coming from exactly.

That’s all I have for now. I think I’m going to take a break from the computer for a while. I think I managed to successfully get a headache from overexposure to the screen.

~Omi

current mood: busy

(huggles)

Friday, October 24th, 2003
9:04 pm
Ken-kun came over again tonight, he's sleeping now.. it's so precious. I couldn't sleep.. so i figured i'd go use the net a little bit, saw that him and Yohji-kun were fighting a bit so i went to check on Yohji-kun too. He really acts funny without his smokes.

Hmm.. not much to say right now really.. i think i may go check up on Aya-kun, see how he's doing.

current mood: contemplative

(huggles)

Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
6:24 pm - Ever have one of those days where you just want to beat yourself to death?
Today was most definitly one of those days.

I missed school...

Missed work..

I cannot remember the last time i did such a thing without there being a mission.

I don't know what's wrong with me either. Everyone's been acting so weird, and i just.. i don't know.. i want to make things better again, but i don't know how.

current mood: crushed

(8 hugs | huggles)

4:52 am
I'm back again! <3! chus!

Went out a tiny bit, and look at the time... school soon.

...i feel funny..

maybe i stay home.

(huggles)

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
10:38 pm - We're bac~k
We’re finally home again, after a week of being in Kyoto on a ‘school field trip’ with Aya-kun. He really wasn’t all too happy about being a chaperone for the class, not that I could blame him really, though he could have been a tiny bit more cheerful.

I tried to get him to cheer up some, even took him out to go sight seeing, and he didn’t seem to really like anything but his coffee. I lost track of how many times he called me a baka, told me how much he hated me.. etc… It’s just one of those things he does, I guess.

It was hard to let him, or even the mission make things seem down, we were in Kyoto, and.. I don’t know there’s just something about it that makes me feel… fuzzy inside. ^-^ maybe e because it’s a happy place?

Speaking of our little mission, we finished it without killing ourselves, which is wonderful; I always enjoy another day of life. I got a few scratches from it, but it’s nothing a few band aids, time and rest won’t fix!

He was kind enough to talk to me while we were out.. talk in his sleep that is… he said some things, really part of me never wanted to hear it, but.. I did, and we can’t really change that now, can we?

Ken-kun kissed Aya-kun, again. The way they both talk about it confuses me very much, one moment it sounds like they’re doing much more then that, and the next it’s like they wouldn’t even dare to shake hands, let alone kiss.

At least we got to talk about it when me ‘n Aya-kun got home.. though I amazingly enough, am still a bit mad with him. One, he promised not to do that again.. two he didn’t talk to me about this before it was somewhat of a problem.. and three he’s making stupid assumptions about what I want.

You know what I want? I want you people to be happy.. not sulky.. not angrey, or hurt, or holding onto a death wish. And… and I want you to be happy on your own.. I want you to be happy with who you are…

Ugh… maybe I should just go to sleep… someone wanted to come home ASAP and cut out much of my rest this morning.

Gomen nasai for the crabbyness.. ._. i know it's there, i really do. Sleep will help...

current mood: confused

(15 hugs | huggles)

Friday, October 10th, 2003
8:03 pm
I still don't know what it is exactily that i did to make Aya-kun so angry in the first place. I mean, i probably was being somewhat of a pest, but he wasn't taking care of himself so somebody had to!

He seems unhappy here, and i really wouldn't want anyone that upset. So, well, once he's better i guess we're going to be looking into seeing about if he can transfer to somewhere else. Hopefully he'll change his mind, maybe if he can find something here he likes.. something he cares about.

Then again, maybe he'll be able to find such a thing somewhere else.

*sigh* And, of course we have this new mission. It was nice to have a bit of a break. ^_^; but, enough of that, time to get back to work!

(huggles)

Friday, October 3rd, 2003
8:51 pm
I had that dream again, ~again~, i lost track of how many nights it's been sice i've been able to sleep without it popping up and giving me a.. nightmare? i mean.. i guess it wasn't entirely bad, just sort of confuseing, and oddly scarey.

I guess i was talking in my sleep or something, loudly, because i woke up with Yohji shaking me, asking me what was wrong.

I told him. It was probably a mistake, knowing him, though maybe not. He seemed to be under the impression that these things were perfectly normal, and that everyone went through it, so he offered to help me in case i ever needed it concering this odd dream matter.

Then, i don't know.. it's all very odd, and i'm confused.

Very, confused.

current mood: confused

(huggles)

Monday, September 22nd, 2003
10:29 am
Yohji-kun's very sick.. I'm taking him to the doctor later today. I tried giving him something for it, but that didn't seem to help at all, so we're going to get some more professional help for it, i guess.

I hope he feels better soon, i've never seen him this bad before, poor Yohji.

Until he gets better though it means a lot of weird shifts in the shop, i think i'll go see about fixing work times maybe? if it's okay with Aya-kun and Ken-kun, because Yohji-kun can't do it.. and some of the busy times would be bad to have with only one person there since he can't make it.

current mood: worried

(huggles)

Friday, September 19th, 2003
7:53 am
I swear some people are just so uppity. I needed someone to watch the kitty, and i'm very sorry, but i didn't want to ask Aya-kun to do it, because well.. i don't know it didn't seem polite! Besides, i don't even know if he likes kitties. I let Yohji-kun do it, and he's really mad, i think, because kitty got into his stuff.

After hearing about not putting the cat anywhere around his stuff, i decided that i was fortunite that he didn't try to squish it or something. >.>; *huggles kitty tightly*

Maybe i should just bring it with me to work, yes, that might work, though i think someone might step on him! Or what if he sneaks out the door? ;_;!!! I'll have to figure something out, and soon.

On another note; Kudou Yohji, if you ever ditch work again like that when you have a shift with me i will find a ~wonderful~ way to repay you for your absense.

I have to go now, but i'm sure i'll be useing this journal more often from now on @_@

current mood: aggravated

(6 hugs | huggles)

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
8:46 am - Yatta!
So i finaly got to spend some time working with Aya-kun, our new teammate! He's really very nice, quiet, but still. I think that may be a good thing though, i mean between me, Yohji-kun and Ken-kun we do more then enough chattering.

It was nice working with him though, he's very good with the flowers, and even the people, though he doesn't say all that much, they still love him to pieces. Everybody was asking me about him too, it was so strange, and they just looked at me funny when i suggested that if they really want to know something about him, why not ask him themselves?

^_^ i think i was probably trying to pry too much, he asked me not to, so i won't.. that's okay with me, i don't want him to be all uncomfortable around us, after all we are going to be working together from now on, ne?

It was fun, last night, he helped make dinner. ^-^! wai! I hope we can do it again sometime!

On a different note; i found out that my little kitty has a strange obsession with one of my shirts.. the brown lace up one.. he keeps dragging it out, or clawing at my dresser until i get it out for him to play with ^-^ it's like his security blanket i guess, it's so cute!

current mood: amused

(huggles)

Friday, September 12th, 2003
3:00 pm - School days, ah huh!
The past little while has been rather interesting, so many reasons for me to be neglecting my internet life.

The first, and most important of those reasons being the fact that we just got a new co-worker/teammate. I haven't had a chance to really spend time around him, we don't work the same hours in the shop, he's too old for high school, and well.. you get the idea. He seems nice enough though, and Ken-kun said he was cool.

That brings me to the second of those things keeping me away from here.. Ken got me a kitten the other day. It's so cute, so adorable, so tiny.. i've never had a pet before, i just hope i don't end up neglecting it.

We're just about done here. I've gotten get going. The girls said they wanted to show me something so.. i must go see it now ^_^ jjaaa~~!

((OOC: Yay! first Omi post for new game! *dances*))

(5 hugs | huggles)

Monday, August 18th, 2003
10:31 pm
Things have gone into being quiet again.. i mean not like they once were, but compared to this recent mess.. yeah.

I dunno what to put in here now really. I'm so tired... and Dia's no.. not tired. ._. i sweat we've been bonding recently, it's nice and all, and i love her.. but my goodness she doesn't sleep. >.> she just.. bounces around all the time and paws at me.

So yeah..

Well it's bed time.. gonna get some water and hit the rack! ^_~ have a good one!


((OOC note: I'll be going on a small trip for about a week, after this post omi won't been see or heard from 'round the neko. He went poof! *nods and hugs to all* loves! take care darlings!))

(huggles)

Saturday, August 16th, 2003
7:48 pm
I didn't mean it, really i didn't... Ken was just in one of his moods, and i was in one of mine and before i knew it i told him i hated him..

It's not true.. it could never be true. If i ever loved anyone, anything.. in my whole life it's Ken. I'd do anything for him, not that it really means anything to anyone else.. but.. yeah.. even if he's with someone else i can't stop feeling this way. I think that's why whenever he finds happiness somewhere else i always find myself running over just to be around him, and somehow i screw up his head and make him do things he shouldn't be, things he'd regret later.

I'm sorry, to everyone for that..

I'm sorry to everyone for being so moody lately.. it's hard, i've been working on trying to find out who killed part of our orginization's little family for so long, and i've turned up nothing. Results like that will make anyone upset, i think.

I want to help, i want to make it better, but i can't. I tried and i tried and i tried.. and now i realize i'm about as useful as a used piece of tissue paper.

And they want me to help... to help do what i've been doing for so long.. with THAT.. *sigh*

(1 hug | huggles)

Thursday, August 14th, 2003
7:32 pm
I've gotten past the point of careing anymore..

I don't care..

all it leads to is pain.. and right now.. i don't think i can take it anymore.

You want to push me away, fine. I'll leave you alone.. do what you like, I'm not coming to help anymore, not when you're going to treat me like this.

current mood: pissed off

(4 hugs | huggles)

Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
9:32 am
It’s so odd.. I remember it wasn’t all that long ago when it was suggested that I go seek professional help for my ‘problems’ I don’t think Yohji quite understood things then, when he made that comment. He might now.. There are things you don’t want to talk about, things you’d rather bury and forget. I think that’s what he was trying to do with this current situation.

Apparently, Ken went and raped Yohji.. in a very bad way.. I don’t know all the details, Yohji talked with me a bit, but he was so shaken the words were barely understandable. Usually he’d just bust up into a new set of tears when even thinking about what happened. I ordered to be there for him, to listen to him, to watch over him in case something like that happened again.

I hated to say something like.. like I’d keep him safe from Ken-kun. Sure, they had their little fights, but I know deep down Ken really cares for Yohji.. just like he cares for all of us. But still, something’s wrong with Ken.. and until we fix it I don’t want any more problems caused by this. Things are bad enough as it is.

Yohji said it happened on the couch, which is why I’ve gotten rid of it. The new one is coming in today, supposedly. The others might be mad over it, but honestly, I couldn’t keep it here.. not when I know everytime Yohji sees it, it’ll all come back to him.

Hopefully we can all work past this, somehow.

*sigh* Things just are.. not good these days.

(6 hugs | huggles)

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